Review: Sky Streak of Terror by Dan Griffin

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Publisher: Publication Consultants
Publishing Date: April 2014
ISBN: 9781594334375
Genre: SciFi
Rating: 0.1/5

Publisher Description: Sky Streak of Terror, a novel about heroism, love, and betrayal, when a young man from the small community of Spruce Hills, Alaska, has his peaceful farming life turned upside down, when he learns that he is responsible for freeing an immortal and murderous, extra-terrestrial prisoner from a fallen meteorite. The gifted young man with newly aquired enhanced abilities, is soon forced into action.

Review: The cover art makes no sense. Golden dude running.

This novel was bad in quite a few ways. The endless monologue where every character tells you exactly what they are thinking, the choices they are going to make and the subsequent ramifications/outcome. Fug. Even the alien makes Grande statements before he try’s to kill people….” You two are a thorn in my side,..hindering my plans…I was about to burn the town down and force everyone into my clutches!” Really? This is how aliens talk? Or my favorite…”Your useless friend surely fled like all cowards do and left you here alone, and now I have a sudden change of plans! The smell of your blood that you continually cough up has triggered my hunger, and I’ve decided to feed!”. MUAHHAHAHAHAHA!!. Er, huh? This alien is so unbelievable as a character as to be reminiscent of nothing you have ever read in scifi literature. He has human emotions, language, facial expressions, comments and dialogue. So I thought it was cool that the alien could shape shift until it turned into an equitable version of a Suzuki Hayubasa motorcycle and chases after a soldier trying to get away on a Suzuki at 200 mph. Stupid stuff.

So we have Benjamin super guy who was the greatest athlete, in like, ever and has a Brazilian Jiu-jitsu black belt (of course). So as we move along the story-line the author takes pause to tell us “He first began spraying his blue jeans which covered his flexibly muscular legs…then sprayed his shirt covering his rippling six-pack abs, muscular chest and broad shoulders……tight forearms and bulging biceps of his brown-tanned arms…..then gave his thick neck a touch up….” I don’t know about you but my Gaydar just went off. The military constantly discuss special ops in front of Ben-prick, well because, he is freakin’ Ben-jammin! Ben-dick wants to go revenge himself on this murderous alien but first must prove his new found abilities with the military, because they just aren’t up to the task. Editing errors ensue as it is repeatedly stated that the 2 mile run record for military soldiers with backpack is 15 seconds flat. I wait for a correction later in the paragraph, and its still states 15 seconds.

Then we move on to what a great marksman Ben is. “He could drill tacks at fifty yards with his favorite large-caliber handgun.” Oh really? Just because your writing fiction doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice credibility. I can hit a 6″ steel plate, while standing, at 50 yds consistently, but in no way does a handgun allow for the precision required to hit the same spot (a tacks width apart), repeatedly with iron sights.

Ben-dummay is in the hospital and has JUST FOUND OUT HIS PARENTS HAVE BEEN MURDERED. So what does he do? He daydreams about a hot nurse, whom (bad metaphor coming) ” melted him like cold butter in a hot frying pan”. He goes on to describe her in detail, “desirable 5’5″ and 115-pound petite frame, silky black hair, …thick pink lips, glossy white teeth.” What is this guy doing, buying a horse? As she walks away Ben exclaims, “Oh my, I think I love her!” Really? Insta-love. Fuggin A’. He goes on to take her home, checks out her tits and hips and gets a kiss. Wow, nice recovery batman. Only your parents are in body bags in the same hospital that you are in. Fug this turd. The next day (A DAY AFTER HIS PARENTS DIED) Ben and his hottie nurse, Taryn go to see his parents in the morgue. After viewing the dead bodies, WHILE STILL IN THE MORGUE, they start making out. Only to be interrupted by Sgt. Wilson. So the insta-love is not over for Benny-doo-doo. After being jilted by Taryn (she’s a spy for the military) he run’s into Joi Li, an even hotter Asian babe he saved and was subsequently KILLED by the alien at the beginning of the novel. See, this other GOOD ALIEN saw what went down, and took her to his spaceship and revived her (Ben-jiz stuffed her corpse in a sunken car in the river). So Ben-douche sees her in a forest by the spaceship, falls in insta-love again but this time has sex with her in the spaceship and they pledge their eternal love, ALL WITHIN A FEW HOURS. Fug me to fuggin heck in a fuggin hand-fuggin’ basket.

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