Publisher: Publish Green
Publishing Date: August 2014
Publisher Description: This is the story of us. How we got here. Told in two dimensions, the Real World, and Inner Space. Michael and Lisa, husband and wife have been trying for 5 years to conceive. Lisa’s powerful antibodies are killing Michael’s sperm. As Lisa withdraws into herself and pulls away, Michael resolves to do anything he possibly can to save his wife and his marriage.
Review: Honestly I requested this novel because of the cover. I really don’t know what is going on here. Is she lying on her right side because she is confused and constipated? Is the dude looking at her butt to see if she passes the blockage? Or maybe this is “clothes on porn” of the future? Or maybe she said “smell my perfume before we go out…is it ok?”. Perhaps he is waiting for some sign that his sperm has impregnated her and she is stuck on a feeling. Or maybe the dude has downs syndrome and his big protective sister is leading him down….er up, to escape? Or maybe she is, really fighting for her life and she’s trying to keep her perfect makeup from getting smudged on that dirty floor. The earrings and the plucked eyebrows are a nice touch though. The big question is, will the novel be as bad as the cover? Read on!
The plot is completely ridiculous. This inner space of which the publisher skims over in the description, takes place in Michael’s junk. Captain Gameta (gamete, get it?) is hell bent for leather to penetrate (lol) Planet Ovaria. This military ensemble resides within the Corpus (Michaels penis) and they use phrases like “Docking in Port Va-gi-na…drilling time 45 minutes, releasing soldiers in the C-Vix Avaria region….” Fug. This tireless effort (fight) parallels Michael and Lisa’s trials and travails in their effort to conceive.
Meanwhile back in the real world we have Michael and Lisa conversing in endless stilted dialogue and generally behaving like two little children. See they can’t conceive and this is the source of their woe. Rather than behave like adults and figure it out, Lisa stomps around and eventually leaves. Ultimately you know what happens and everyone is happy. The End. I really don’t know what the author was hoping to accomplish. Is this supposed to be satirical comedy or a weird mix of the movies “Fantastic Voyage” and “Debbie Does Dallas”? This might be a case of the author falling in love with their own ideas and not involving anyone else in the creative process. This plot really should have been farmed around before putting pen to paper.