Review: Black widow by Jennifer Estep

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Publisher: Pocket Books
Publishing Date: November 2014
ISBN: 9781476774541
Genre: Fantasy
Rating: 1.5/5

Publisher Description: Lethal, sexy, and always ready to protect her friends, Gin Blanco (a.k.a. the Spider) takes on the mysterious M.M. Monroe in book twelve.

Review: Love the cover only in that I am a dude.

Gin Blanco is a hard driving elemental assassin (with a heart of gold) whom kills people that piss her off. She’s hot, sexy and makes ravenous love to her man, Owen. She can, in a heart beat, knock the brains out of an assassin’s head with a frying pan and calmly drag the corpse into a freezer and serve you food 5 minutes later.

This read like the “Adult’s Guide to Juvenile Behavior”. Every encounter that Gin has with her enemies is this endless stilted and juvenile dialogue. The character exchanges fit this weird formula of 1) overt/covert antagonism 2) Grinding of teeth, clenching of fists and icy stares 3) dialogue that intimates veiled innocence and finally 4) direct threats with some righteous retribution. The metaphors are really lame and usually involve the words “cold” and “Ice”. The overuse of words to expedite scene development are many. “Murmured” and “Growled” were used a total of 34 times. The fight scenes don’t take you to any place that is believable and not because the emphasis is the use of magic. There seems to be a creative limit on the use of magic in fight scenes that renders the interaction to the mundane. Maybe because all the fight scenes are coupled with this weird dialogue of “HAHA I am stronger than you!”….”I will make you pay for your evilness!” “How are you still alive after I poured every ounce of magic into destroying you!!” I AM MELTING!! WHAT A WORLD WHAT A WORLD!!

It is beyond comprehension that readers give this an average of 4 stars. This doesn’t even fall into the category of “Have fun and don’t take it too seriously” as the writing is just plain bad. Besides all the female haughtiness (spinning on heels, flashing of teeth, mouth smirks and smug looks) you have a main character that imbues everything you can’t stand in a character. She murders people but has many close friends. In any situation she is ready to kill and will talk to you about it for 20 pages and let you know why you made this terrible mistake. She’s really hot and her enemies are even hotter so there is no great loss in ridding humanity of an evil hottie. She plays the reluctant hero shtick where all she ever wanted was to be left alone but ends up the big over-boss. Fug. Everyone runs around insulting each other and generally behaving like petulant little children where they have tantrums and red faces of rage.

This was a tedious experience I hope to not experience again.

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