Review: Mind The Gap by Tim Richards

 

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Publisher: harper Collins

Publishing Date: November 2014

ISBN: 9781460704028 

Genre: Fantasy

Rating: 1.0/5

 

Publisher Description: He’s been threatened by a knife-wielding maniac on a London train, interrogated by a mysterious warrior woman beneath the city’s streets, pursued by a military death squad in Melbourne, had his new girlfriend kidnapped and held hostage in Prague, and been captured and taken to another world. And it’s barely been three days since his life started to fall to pieces. On top of all this, he’s developed a bizarre ability that allows him to teleport in quite unusual circumstances – an ability that several deadly enemies will do anything to gain control of. In a desperate struggle involving alternate worlds, Egyptian mythology, ancient prophecy, malevolent felines, underground railway stations and the power of dreams, can Darius long survive the arrival of his newfound power?

 Review: zzzzzzzzzzzzz…….Wha? Oh, sorry. Nodded off there reading the description. Darius is endearing. He’s clueless as to why beings from parallel worlds are after him and resides within this cloud of denial. He’s befuddled and tousled at the same time so chicks dig him. The same day that he teleports to Australia he gets laid by a barista at a train station. The barista later risks life and limb (and knows judo) to save a guy she’s known for three days from the dogs of Annubus, and the cats of Bast?? Meow?.  Horus’ followers are in there too, somewhere. So when Darius is not dreaming about, well whatever, (you will most likely start flipping pages when that happens) he is trying to save the love of his life, Viv, the super-judo barista slut.

In a nutshell the plot is pretty simple. Boy with talent can bring all the worlds into alignment and the other world powers want that power for themselves. The problem is that it is at once all over the place and then replicating those same events, but in a different place. Darius is a constant chafing whiner that you hope will get crushed by a rock slide. Viv goes from slutty barista to dimension traveling horus judo-warrior that flies alien craft on rescue missions. Really? Within a week she has trained with the elite and coerced a skimmer out of some high level commando that has the hots for her. All to save a guy she knew for a couple of hours while on her back. Riiiiight.

This novel was so dumb it makes “Fight For Life” seem Nebula ready.  But wait, the ending promises more adventures with Darius the Dummy and his side-kick Viv, the Judo Barista.

 

 

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