Review: The Silver Ships by Scott Jucha

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Publisher: Smith

Publishing Date: June 2015

ISBN: 9780990594024

Genre: SciFi

Rating: 1.5/5

Publisher Description: An explorer-tug captain, Alex Racine detects a damaged alien craft drifting into the system. Recognizing a once in a lifetime opportunity to make first contact, Alex pulls off a daring maneuver to latch on to the derelict. Alex discovers the ship was attacked by an unknown craft, the first of its kind ever encountered. The mysterious silver ship’s attack was both instant and deadly. What enfolds is a story of the descendants of two Earth colony ships, with very different histories, meeting 700 years after their founding and uniting to defend humanity from the silver ships.

Review: This started out really, really, good. Young kid in space, snaring asteroids, flipping the bird at convention and snaring a derelict alien craft. Cool, eh? But nooooo, it all goes down hill from there as the writing turns clichéd’, patterned and smug. Alex goes from an interesting character to Mr. DEFENDER OF THE UNIVERSE, whom can do no wrong and has seemingly super human mental abilities that astonish everyone but himself. Oh, did he forget to eat again? That scamp, he works more than 10 people while performing multiple tasks and calculations simultaneously. I have an idea! Lets make him Captain of our alien craft as he is the only one that understands us. He put his life and honor on the line and cried like bigfoot when he cleared the ship of dead bodies.  WEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Fug me. So almost immediately upon saving the drifting ship and enabling the AI to revive all the aliens from stasis, every chick wants to bang him and every dude swears undying loyalty to him. His home planet makes him an ambassador to the aliens (who are human) in hopes of a trade/technology exchange. While being vetted by the HOLY Government, his professors get nasty in defense of his greatness, honesty and genius.  

Well see, Alex is a douche because he was written that way, so don’t fault his charismatic manliness because he is a manly space-man with manly mannerisms. His planet is rife with douchebags that cling to the idea that the Government is good, takes care of its people, has good socialized medicine (oxymoron?) and was voted to be in control by the lemmings….er people. Uh oh, sound familiar? It gets better as the insipid smugness creeps in at the edges of this disaster. See the huge big bad wolf on planet douche is, you guessed it, conservatives. Oh yeah, they represent not only buffoonery and egocentric tendencies but deadly mischief and guile in the form of stealing little alien secrets. CURSE THESE INDUSTRIALIST CONSERVATIVES!!….The jabs are endless and do the novel no favors but what is even more astonishing is that they would embrace the politics of their failed home world.   The aliens (who are human) are super sexy and thin. They live in a world with advanced technology where there are no bad guns and only good people. They have shockers for beasties and incorrigibles but that’s about it.

So Planet Biden agrees to help these aliens that are humans (that are all super hot and sexy), to go fight real aliens in silver ships that may be threatening their home world based on a vision that Superma…..er, Alex had. Really? Much of the novel moves around the assemblage of BAD weapons to fight aliens and uncovering the nasty conservative plot to garner technology for themselves…MUHAHAHHA!!! There is a cloying insta-love affair between Alex and an alien (human) while all the aliens that are humans get banged by humans that are humans. Fug me. Even the Artificial Intelligence loves Alex because who the fuck doesn’t?

A good read while getting laser hemorrhoid surgery.

 

 

 

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