Review: The Gate To Futures Past by Julie E. Czerneda

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Publisher: DAW

Publishing Date: September 2016

ISBN: 9780756408701

Genre: SciFi

Rating: 1.7/5

Publishers Description: …I’d lived on a starship long enough to value the small sounds the Fox made: the whoosh of air through vents, the bone-deep growl of lift engines, and the reassuring almost-whine that meant not only gravity, but that we were moving through subspace under power….”

Review: “zzzzzzzz…wha? gibmoodle?” Oh, right. I am awake. Don’t cha hate it when you step into a novel and suddenly find yourself one step short in understanding a universe that was built years ago in successive novels that have nothing to do with the current story line? Good writers know how to include the new reader and can make an acceptable and seamless transition to believability. Not so much here.

Smug by definition is ” having or showing an excessive pride in oneself or one’s achievements.”. So everyone initially bought into your world and you thought “Hey, I am great and creative so I mayswell expand this universe into every novel that I write, right?”. So now you have a finite readership, or generally force new readers to buy all 1,500 of your previous novels in order to “catch up”. Well I fucking refuse. Grant the new reader to your world the courtesy to join in happy escapism without a fooking alien dictionary and relentless jabbering non-sensical backstory.

“Oh, my hair writhes about when he’s near…ooh, I can teleport here and there because my clan escaped the rangled foo in outer dipshitshalon 3,000 yarntarns past…these droolcanbies are beneath my cunsfazeers as they went against the palasharsararars in the volucmn wars and forever cloistered the faks in hand to hand combat…” Welcome to my world.

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4 thoughts on “Review: The Gate To Futures Past by Julie E. Czerneda

  1. 😀 😀 😀 (really, what else could i comment, but laugh?)

  2. :’) Hey, I’d like to read about Dipshitshalon! But yeah, seeing your point here, if the writer can’t be arsed, neither can I.

    Ooh, ooh, and you said fuck! *giggles*

    • It just happens. I am writing an ambivalent review and the more I write the more pissed off I get until a bland review becomes molten. I like the out put, its like therapy.

      • There’s no equivalent for that in the world of therapy (that I know of at least) xD. I like to put my anger into my new colouring book: Memos to Shitty People.. It takes the swearing out of my reviews, though, so not sure if that’s what I want ^^

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