Publishing Date: July 2019
Publisher’s Description: When Lillian, the one and only heir to the throne, is cast out of her kingdom by malevolent forces, she accidentally wanders into the Forest of Forgetfulness, where she is rescued by wolves and raised by an eccentric old wise woman. When she comes of age, she is called by Destiny to return Home. The trouble is, when she steps out of the Forest, she has no memory of who she is or from whence she hails. Undaunted, Lillian sets off into the unknown, determined to discover her long lost self and to reclaim her stolen birthright.
Me: “This really was written for adults and not 5-8 year old children?”.
Me: “Really? No way”.
Publisher: “Yah, way. Here take a gander at more of our insights into this novel. This allegorical saga celebrates the healing power of art and music, the wisdom of animals, and the majesty of nature. It’s a tale for people who take the road less traveled. People who love fantasy, mythology, metaphysics, and comedy in unexpected places. People who are artists, humanists, feminists, seekers, wanderers, wonderers, misfits and bibliophiles. “.
Yeaaah……I did not get that memo where this fairy tale had any allegorical legs. If you use a story line or character to deliver a broader message about real world issues but your core logic is flawed/mired in an incoherent melange of babbling rhetoric that flits from topic to topic like a bee on acid, then ‘address unknown’ or ‘message undelivered’.
This was like being read a Disney tale by Shirley Temple (pouty baby voice) at a novels length. Try listening to say, someone speaking to you in a pirate accent for a while. It is at once tedious, irritating and insulting. What was somewhat confusing was Lillian’s constant shifting from cogent English (internal dialogue) to cockney (external). This back and forth-ing of accents compounded the issues along with the lengthy contrived vacuousness.
This novel was not without it’s funny moments (The Judge, Poppy peeing in the well) but they were few. Some stories along her journey were really inventive and quite creative but are minimal in presentation and brief in instance. None of the characters ever develop as they are not supposed to in a fairy tale, especially Lillian whom grows into a woman overnight but retains the perspective of Princess Giselle from Enchanted.
At about the 70% Kindle mark, the novel picks up and resides comfortably in the adult consciousness then dips back into Dumbville towards the end. If you like Disney archetypes, are prone to talking with your mouth full and fart in mixed company, then this is for you.